Recap: Spending and saving in October 2014

This month's post is brought to you by Stephen Colbert.

October 2014 was a rather strange month for my money starting with the fact that it was the first time I actually tracked my money very carefully. But it was more than just that.

DEBT REPAYMENT: I mentioned a couple of times in this blog that I managed to pay off one of my credit cards of almost $800 owed in full after letting it carry a balance for almost a decade this month. But I also managed to make an additional $200 payment on my student loans on top of the $479.83 that is my minimum payment.

The extra $200 was earned through half of what was leftover from the freelance check I got at the start of the month that wiped out my credit card debt and also the GST return. But I waited until the 15th of the month (when my loan withdrawal is scheduled) in order to make sure that 100% of that extra payment went straight to paying down the principle and not to any interest.

The extra money plus the regular payment didn't quite get me under 34K owed on student loans which was an enormous pity, but I should get beneath that mark with my next payment. Not ideal, but still better than just the minimum.

All told, I dropped almost $1,500 to pay down debt this month, which isn't that shabby at all.

EXPENSES: Well I already shared the tale of how I blew past my food budget for the month.

But besides that, I've actually been rather well behaved this month as far as my discretionary spending budget goes. I didn't spend any money on clothing or make-up, my entertainment budget had all of $20 out of the $80 I had set aside spent in it (and money that I spent going to a restaurant with a visiting friend from Buffalo, NY; or as I'd like to call it, money well spent!) and my miscellaneous spending was mostly innocuous, outside of a payment to see my credit rating. (Another story for another time)

However, I did end up with an unexpected expense that I generally don't incorporate as discretionary spending, and is debatable if it can be counted as such or really should be seen as an investment in myself: G2 driving lessons.

Basically in mid-October, I had finished up my 10 one-hour in-car driving lessons that came with the academy package. But as it turned out, 10 hours wasn't enough to get me G2 test-worthy. And while I had access to a vehicle I could practice more on, it belongs to a driver with a less-than-stable-temper known as the paranoid parent.

So I decided to pay for more lessons privately, at about $60 for two hours of lessons. It may not be the most fiscally smart decision out there when technically I could practice further for free with the parent, but for my peace of mind and frankly my nerves, paying to be with an instructor that doesn't have an anger management issue is well worth the extra money I have to spend for it.

But it did bring up my monthly transportation costs from the usual $100 I pay for a bus pass, to around $220 dollars this month.

Sheesh.


INCOME: This month was the first ever month that saw my salary get garnished in full to contribute to my company pension, share-holders plan and RRSP. And while I knew it was coming, seeing my new bi-weekly net total after deductions still came at a bit of a shock to my senses that always saw a much higher number being deposited into my bank account. It also forced me to change some category totals in order to balance my new take-home pay better.

Also, the first week of the month was when I finally paid off my credit card debt using a large freelance check I had received that week. The credit card debt was never calculated into my monthly accounts, however, the money that did not go into paying down that credit card in full, did, which led to some vagurarities on my part.

And finally, some small returns in GST tax refunds and money given that was owed from a friend capped off the unplanned income that came in this month and made for some rather interesting numbers in my 'money earned' column.


SAVINGS: This was the first month I took a really good look at my savings and organizing it.

For a few years now, I've had money automatically transferred every paycheck from my chequing account to my simple savings account, thereby forcing some of the savings issue on me. This year, it's $50, therefore forcing me to save around $100 a month, which with debt, isn't a bad amount to set aside for an emergency fund.

Except that I would usually end up spending it one way or another within the year on some long-term goal or a pricey expense that would come up. Which kind of defeated the point. So I'm starting from practically zero with all my saving accounts.

So around $120 before-tax dollars are now being automatically withdrawn from my income to go to long-term retirement savings and investments, $40 is earmarked for my TFSA for long-term savings and investments, the automatic $100 withdrawal still takes place towards my emergency fund. And half of any freelance income will be split between my TFSA and short-term savings goals for now.

This plan is bound to change in the short-term. It's just right now, I'm really very concerned about establishing a stronger base that I can use as support (hopefully not for a very very long time) in my savings, because right now, my savings can barely cover for a future expense in dental work let alone a real emergency. Which is why at the moment it has become just as much of a personal finance focus as my debt repayment.

I just want to create a larger buffer in my life before I can really commit more to encouraging payment to my student loans.

And the total damage to disclose is... *drumrolls*

CURRENT NET WORTH: -$33,027.21

... Yeesh, that isn't really the nicest looking number in the world is it? 

Well reality kind of sucks right now as far as my money goes, but the important thing is I'm aware that it sucks. A lot. But the real point is that I'm treating this number like a launching pad towards bigger and better things. Like you know... a point where the coffee I drink is actually coffee I earned and not a loan for existing by the federal and provincial government?

Clearly I'm going to have to win the lottery here...

Why I decided not to roll all of my credit card repayment money into my student loans. For now...

In early October 2014, I had officially and completely eliminated my credit card debt, debt that I had carried since 2006. It was a good day for me and one that I am incredibly proud of.

Depiction of how I felt eliminating a balance I carried since 2006.

But since then came the dilemma. What do I do with the money I had directed towards the credit card debt now? Especially given that when I had originally planned on paying off my credit card this summer, I had budgeted around $200 of my regular monthly wage to service said debt.

Well that's easy said all personal finance planners, bloggers and extended family in the world. Snowball it into your student loans and get that next nasty bit of debt paid off lickity split and all that!

Well... not so fast. Some things have since came to light since I budgeted that original total that has ultimately changed that game plan for me.

For one, since paying off that debt, I had since opted into my employer's pension plan, which garnishes around $80 per month of my before-tax wages.

(Although frankly speaking, I'm kicking myself at not having opted into the plan sooner, as it is a defined benefits pension plan, which in Canada is hugely beneficial in retirement and also increasingly rare because of how beneficial it is to the employees. And I basically missed out on six months of future wealth and for what? An extra pair of shoes? But this really isn't the time to discuss this... maybe later.)

Then there's the two other programs I opted into through work. One is a company share-buying program, which I'm giving around $20 dollars per month to, largely because there's a company match involved in my contributions. Then there's the RRSP through my company, of which I also contribute around $20 a month to to act as an additional safety net for me in the future, because well... safety nets! And also some company perks are involved as well.

So if you're doing the math, about $120 dollars of my gross income ($110 really if you consider that some is a before tax total) that once went towards my credit cards have since been swallowed by retirement financing instead.

Well, okay, says some personal finance people who can understand the reasoning behind investing in my future now when compounding interest can have its greatest effect rather than pay down a student loan as soon as possible. That still leaves me with $90 dollars to roll into my student loans every month... right?

Well... yes.. but I can hardly justify contributing to an RRSP to myself (even at a pittance of $20 a month) without putting more of my money into a TFSA, especially since I'm not even close to maxing it out. So I made the decision to start putting $40 a month of my regular wage into it for now with the intent of upping it eventually.

Which leaves me back with the $50 dollars extra I've been contributing to the student loans on top of my minimum payment since January 2014 when payments became required, and a number I arbitrarily chose earlier this year as a means to get me over the $500 a month payments I wanted.

And an extra amount I only briefly paused in order to pay down my credit card debt!

It is hardly an amount that can match the $200 I could have put towards my student loans per month.

So I failed dramatically at the whole snowballing my payments into other loans thing, but frankly, I'm hardly ashamed by my decision to put my money elsewhere. It's not as if that money is being re-introduced as discretionary spending and wasted, and that money once used to help my debt is still being saved and still going to contribute to my eventual net worth here, just not in lowering my debt load.

Now, some will argue that I should not be contributing to an RRSP when I hardly make enough to justify it. Or that I shouldn't be saving money in a TFSA with such a huge student debt load. And I admit that there  is a well-reasoned argument to support that stance.

But at this immediate moment, I'm more concerned with getting something going in long-term savings and for that to happen I needed to form a base, whereas before I had none. Which means that for a short time at least, my resources are being spread out in a lot of different directions in order to build something.

Will things change? Absolutely things could change. For one, my student loan interest rate is a floating one, so as soon as that starts to show signs of floating upward (a phenomenon that is predicted to possibly happen at some point next year), you can expect me to become more anxious about controlling my debt.

Also I happen to know that as a person that cares about how she's able to spin things (I was a media major in school. I learned how words can change perceptions), I'm often tempted when I see the opportunity from being able to say I owe "over 30k" to "just under 30k" - a distinction that can be as little as $5 dollars.

But what is probably my most important point on the matter, the money I speak of is the money that just comes out of my regular salaried wage at my full time job and is just the money I budget with (and rather strictly to be honest). It doesn't take into consideration the (admittedly fairly decent, but irregular) money I earn freelancing. Or the money I earn working holidays. Money that basically paid off 95% of my credit cards to be honest.

But that is a different story for another day.

So I blew my food budget for the second straight month...

I'm kind of new to the whole budgeting thing. Can't say I'm an enormous fan of it, but it does give me a measure of control on my spending that I didn't have before and consequently keeps me honest about what money I do spend on things.

Well, except when it comes to buying food it seems.

Today I went grocery shopping for the first time this month. Crazy I know that I only went grocery shopping once this month but there were a lot of contributing factors that resulted in this, namely time, which I'll go into detail later. But at the time, all I knew for sure was that I had a mostly empty refrigerator and a huge list of food that I needed.

Well, turns out the lack of regular grocery shopping was not good for me or my wallet. I not only (rather stupidly) failed to keep track of the costs of everything I was throwing into my cart, I also failed to keep control of what it was I was buying.

Total damage: I spent $94 at the grocery store today. And blew my food budget for the month by about $12.

Now part of this is just simply due to bad planning, bad timing and frankly, laziness. To clarify, my food budget is not restricted to groceries but is meant to include fast food/restaurants I buy at work as well. Which is why I generally try to just grocery shop and make my own meals based on what I purchase.

However, I also began the month rebounding from a bad case of the flu. How bad? It affected my diet for weeks as my stomach seemed to have briefly developed a heavy dislike for nearly everything that wasn't fruit or chicken. Nevermind I was not in a physical state where I could cook or even be on my own two feet for long periods of time. So there was a stretch of time where I only ate fast food or expensive fruit cups.

Then I hit a stretch of days where I only got two days off in fourteen with all of them being late shifts, which generally discourages me from making grocery stops due to how late it is when I get off work. And with a rapidly depleting refrigerator and zero days to re-stock, led to another stretch of days where I only ate fast food once again.

It really isn't an excuse for me to have spent more than $200 dollars on food, but overall, October was a bad month for my money and my time, in that my time was limited and I was unable to optimize it in order to keep me out of McDonalds or other fast food options for my next meal.

The scarier part is, there was once a time not too long ago when I used to eat out EVERY meal too while at work.

Now don't get me wrong: my budget is still in the very early stages of its implementation, and I really have yet to tweak the totals in my budget in order to make it fit in with my current lifestyle.

In the same breath however, having budgeted $200 dollars a month for food, close to half of all my discretionary spending per month, I find it baffling how it is that I've blown past the total set aside not once, but twice.

And I have to buy some Halloween candy still too. *sigh*

With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the True North strong and free

There are few things I can say more proudly than the fact that I am Canadian. It is a nationality I identify strongly with as a person, but more importantly is an identity that I appreciate more and more every year of my life.

And while there will always be something to complain about - whether it be the weather or the traffic - at the end of the day, there is so much more I have to be proud of when it comes to being part of this huge, strong and stunning country. 

Strong appreciation and domination of hockey is also a bonus.

Which is why Wednesday was an absolutely gutting day for me.

There are so many ways that Wednesday in Ottawa really hit to the heart of what Canadians value and represent not only to ourselves but all over the world. 

It began at the National War Memorial in Ottawa. It is a symbol of our country's appreciation for those that have made the ultimate sacrifice in wearing the flag on their arms and over their hearts as they did battle during the First World War as well as internationally since. Like its sister in Vimy, France, it does not glorify the battles and victories of war. It does not hang banners reading "Mission Accomplished" or similar boasts. Instead, it mourns our collective losses and the young lives that had to be paid for a future the dead will never know.

Even as Hitler was tearing down war memorials during his Blitzkrieg during World War II, he would recognize the same noble message at the memorial at Vimy Ridge, and went so far as to order his own guards to protect it from vandalism.

This is not about the victory, but that thanks we give to those that came and paid with their lives to build towards it.

So when on Wednesday a man raised a gun and fired at an unarmed soldier standing guard at the War Memorial, it sent a shiver down the spine of this country. To do something like that at a place that memorializes our nation's grief, and against a soldier that is serving to protect that honour, can only be seen as an attack on it.

It is odious in some ways. Infuriating in all of it.

Despite the best efforts of first-responders and civilians, the soldier shot at the memorial would later die. Another name to be remembered, another memory to be enshrined at the Memorial he stood guard over when his life was taken away so senselessly. Another family's grief to be inherited by the statues the soldier stood beneath as he was brutally taken down.

The terror then spread to Parliament Hill, as a gunman then opened fired there. 

It is a building mere steps away from the Memorial, and a place where the country's policies and its messages are built, word by word and sometimes insult by insult. A lot can be said about those buildings and the people who work there, and plenty enough of it is not positive, however, it is a representation of our country at work. It is the place where how we are defined globally and where what is important to us is discussed.

There were servicemen injured, but there were many more running towards the danger as their training kicked into gear and their first reaction was to protect whoever needed protecting on that day. It began slowly and then happened all at once until finally it was over. The gunman was shot, and killed.

Some heroes emerged, but the day is not owned by the eventual victory but our collective tragedy. A soldier died this day on home soil, mere days after another lost his life to senseless violence in Quebec. 

But as the story continues to be pieced together on what happened this day, the story of how Canada feels about what happened is not in question.

We are not afraid. We are not scared. We are not cowed.

We are angry. We are united. 

We are the True North, strong and free.

Payday Loans: why I've never used them, and why you shouldn't either

Can I just take the time right now to gush over the hilarity and genius that is John Oliver? Last Week Tonight is just an absolute stroke of genius by HBO and it's just brilliant as far as political satire goes. 

(Although I already miss the clever Brit on The Daily Show, I have come to terms that he's simply gone the way of Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell).

One of the best things on the show is how he addresses everyday issues that's making news and not only does he provide real in-depth context and background to the issue at hand, he then breaks down how the government and politicians is mucking it up. 

One such problem that he beautifully illustrates was actually about Payday loans or as he called it, "the recycling centre of human misery."

Full disclosure here: I have never used a payday loan, never seriously considered it an option in my life and have never even walked into one of their stores, even to use their toilet. I have toyed with the curiosity of what kind of business practice they run, but common sense eventually prevails to stops me from being that, for lack of a better word, stupid. 

Even at my most desperate, I always saw the option of payday loans as one of those things that felt a little "too good to be true." I mean, they give you a couple hundred dollars, "no questions asked" that you pay at your next paycheck and "only" $20 in borrower's fees for the short-term loan which ought to be more than covered by that paycheck supposedly. 

Sounds like a sweet deal right?

Well actually... $20 on say a $200 short-term loan is quite a lot. Basically you're paying them 10% of what you borrowed from them, and for what? Money you were going to earn eventually, so all you're really paying for is time. 

Is getting a paycheck 14 days or less early really worth throwing away $20 of hard-earned work to you? 

My answer: Nah. If I don't have the money, then I don't get to spend. And plus, I'd rather keep my $20 and wait the however many days left until my next paycheck because the work to make that money is worth more to me than the borrowed cash I can spend in the meantime.

Now some people may argue the reason is simply because I never 'had' to take out one of those loans, I never had bills and other things to pay or dependants that have needs when I had no money (Um... no, I've been there). And with that responsibility and lacking the cash on me to afford it, I would be 'forced' to have to take out a short-term, unsecured loan to bridge the gap for my own or my dependant's sake, right?

No denial, there are people out there that may "need" these loans. But given that most people that ends up "needing" them then has to sell possessions or borrow money from friends and family to pay off the short-term loan when it's all said and done with, it begs the question why those other options weren't available when they took out the loan in the first place? And they'd likely have lost considerably less money to stupidity in the process.

So remember how I said that these payday loans always seemed too good to be true to me and is what made me steer clear of them as a viable option to debt or other things? Well, it is too good to be true.

Consider credit card debt. And consider how debilitating that debt is at an annual interest rate of 19% interest. Now imagine that annual rate is not 19%, but 28%? How about 400%? Or 4000%? 

Sounds barely legal, right?

Well first of all, that kind of marked up interest return in place by payday loan stores isn't legal in Ontario or really Canada as a whole. Ontario actually caps the interest at 21% of the amount borrowed while federally, the maxed allowed annual interest rate is 60% before it is considered criminal.

Do they abide by those rules in place or are they like their American cousins, finding loopholes to circumvent these laws? I'm sure they'd deny it, but politicians also deny all the time when they're exploiting loopholes as well.

And anyway, I wouldn't know for sure if laws are being circumvented anyway, because I've never used one. And I'm not about to find out either.

So in a jam and considering a payday loan? As Mr. John Oliver and Sarah Silverman so clearly lays out in the above video, ANYTHING ELSE is preferable than taking out a payday loan. Especially since once you start taking out payday loans, it's like the song that never ends. You get stuck in a miserable cycle in which you keep having to borrow a payday loan in order to afford the loans PLUS interest and living expenses that they took from you in the first place. 

And that's just it with payday loans. The practice itself preys on the most vulnerable of our society, people who will get caught in the vicious cycle because they have neither the understanding or the ability to get out of it. And they encourage people to get sucked into the trap because what makes payday loans profitable is repeat customers.

But once in it, all it'll take is one giant accident for the whole thing to go from a cycle to an out of control spiral. 

Why I want to splurge for... a classic trench

As my personal style tastes transitions from the eclectic, boho fashion I tried to emulate to a more classic, mix and match style that is much more in line with some British sensibilities, I'm finding myself fighting the urge to drop massive amounts of dollars on my newly paid off credit cards to try and appease my changing fashion tastes.

The Gap's classic trench in beige.

It's particularly hard to resist clicking a 'buy now' button when I'm looking at classic beige trench coats this fall.

I love classic trenches. They are a sophisticated piece that anyone can use in their wardrobe and really is a outwear staple most people should have, particularly those who works in an office setting and have a fairly conservative dress code at work.

Granted, I work in an office that's so casual, I could show up in shorts and sandals if I wanted to without drawing too much attention, but that's besides the point really.

While trenches come in all shapes, sizes and styles, I love the princess and A-line cut style trenches with a collar that is fitted and is mid-length. They fit my body type really well but I also find it's the perfect length to go with my knee-high boots, looks great with skirts but are also solid with a pair of pants if necessary. As for the collar, it's because it ties in well with my scarf or button up shirts if I wear one.

Also, and another thing I'm learning as I transition from cheap fashion to long-lasting appeal, the thicker the material is, the better. And it has to be lined. It gives it a much richer quality and texture that is almost necessary for a good fall and spring coat in southern Ontario.

If that means paying a few extra dollars for the above, trust me, it is worth the investment, especially if you find a cut, colour and style that you love. No more cheap, crappy purchases from me when it comes to this item. I've learned my lesson on that front awhile back.

(However, as I'm far and away from ever being able to afford a Burberry, I have to be reasonable regarding the price for quality trade-off. While it would be oh so wonderful to own a Burberry trench, that would actually break my bank account)

Now let me get this straight off the top: I already own a very beautiful, well-made, slate grey trench coat from ASOS that I bought last year for a little under $150 bucks (import taxes included) that I absolutely love to death because it matches everything I own and makes me feel like The Doctor on one of his wacky time adventures in it.

Matt Smith was good, but David Tennant remains my OTD.

So why the heck am I dreaming of getting another in a different colour? Because fashion. There's that bit of consumer nonsense that runs in all of us humans that wants now, pay later and has a hard time resisting temptations.

Thankfully for the most part, common sense is prevailing for now on this purchase. For starters, I'm being especially selective on what pieces I buy of late and I've yet to find the perfect beige trench that makes my hands quiver and reach for my credit card in a desperate attempt to buy before they sell out.

And I still owe the government a car so any money I have right now is not actually mine to spend really but let's not discuss reality of my debt right now because you know kthxbai

But ultimately, it comes down to the fact that I have another item I need much much more right now that I'm making an active attempt to save for in order to do it right: a black leather jacket. Which will be a story for another day.

So not this fall, classic beige trench. I will have to re-evaluate in the spring and in the meantime, hope and pray I don't encounter my perfect trench somewhere while window shopping online.

Student Loans Repayment Assistance: What it is and how to get it

Struggling to afford those student loan payments for that degree you got last year? I've been there as have many many people before you. It's a sad reality for a lot of people not earning a huge salary or even no salary at all if you're unlucky enough post-graduation.

Luckily for me and for lots of other people, the Canadian and provincial governments do have a program in place for those in such financial situations to help relieve the pressure of federal student loans (this assistance unfortunately doesn't extend to money privately borrowed).

It is called the Repayment Assistance Plan (RAP) and this program is how at the end of my grace period in 2013 (of which at the time my loans were more like out of sight out of mind, tragically) I was able to get my loan under $40,000 owed without accruing a cent of interest for six months. Not too shabby.

But wait. How did I not accrue interest on my loans? Because based on my salary in the previous month before applying to repayment assistance, the government paid my interest for me (or rather "forgave" my interest) while also allowing me to make my own loan payments that would be used entirely on the principle.

Sounds swell right? But not so fast. There's a catch, because when it comes to free money/government support, there is always a catch.

1. You need to apply for Repayment Assistance. 

There's no waving your hands and magically the government will pay off your interest for you. Nope, you have to do the legwork to prove to the government that the money you earn is not enough to also realistically pay for your student loans.

And you have to do it every six months.

Now how you apply is different for each province. Prior to 2012 in Ontario, the only way you could apply for Repayment Assistance was for them to SNAIL MAIL the application to you, and for you to SNAIL MAIL the filled in application with pay stubs and proof back, which back in my precocious 2012 days, was a giant HASSLE. Which meant in 2012, I failed spectacularly at the whole thing and didn't get approved due to insufficient proof, even though I was earning probably less than $1000 a month at the time at three or four different part-time jobs. Go me.

The above reality may still apply for some provinces. Thankfully in 2013, Ontario had set up a method in which borrowers can apply for repayment assistance through canlearn.ca. And with only one real income stream (and not 20) to keep track of, the process turned out to be far less painful for me.

2. You need to be out of school for at least 6 months and a resident of Canada. 

So no applying during the grace period, even if the grace period is still accruing interest on it. Which I don't completely agree with but I guess the government needs to make some profit off your free-but-not-so-free education somehow. Besides you paying your taxes because they also require you to live in Canada to apply. (Exceptions to the resident of Canada rule is you're on an international internship or a deployed reservist)

3. RAP/The government looks only at your gross income when calculating whether or not you are eligible for assistance. 

Have a car loan/mortgage/credit card debt also putting a drain on your cash flow? Sorry (not sorry)! The government only looks at the total amount you earn and if your loan repayment is less than 20% of your gross family income (NOT the net, which I was kinda, sorta hoping was the case when I reapplied at the beginning of the 2014 year) then all you're going to get from the government is a rejection letter (something I had the pleasure of receiving to start 2014. Happy New Year!)

Additionally, there are degrees in which the government can assist you financially. In my case, I had my interest forgiven and could make my own payments anywhere between $0 to the full amount during those six months and all my costs would come off the principle. But there are also situations where the government would partially pay your monthly interest and reduce your monthly payments.

And then there's the situation where you're SOL.

4. Your loan must NOT be in default nor can you have any missed payments on it.

Meaning that if you ignored your student loans and consequently those collection calls for two years and then went "Oh I should apply for RAP because I make a low income"... You're out of luck.

How out of luck? Apparently once your government student loans go into default in Ontario you will NEVER be able to enter RAP. (A fate which I narrowly avoided in 2012 when I was 60 days late on interest payments for those two failed attempts to apply for RAP)


Note how none of this assistance by the (Ontario) government actually sees your student loan debt shrink. All they do is pay down your interest but the loan is still there for you to deal with. And even then, the government will only continue to pay off your interest completely for 60 months (5 years) before the interest start accruing again on the account. Paying down that loan is still your responsibility and it is up to you to decrease it and at least pay off the principle.

But say after a long 10 years, five of which you maxed out your RAP interest assistance and you still have a low income and still have that massive student loan hanging over your head that is hurting your bottom line even under a 15-year repayment plan (the max number of years the government allows for people to pay down their loans).

There apparently is a second stage to repayment assistance that will see the government start to pay a portion of your principle as well as your interest so that by the end of the 15 years out of school, you won't be in student loan debt.

Of course, I don't know what that would do to your credit score (or if such activity would be reported to any bureau) as I'm only about two years out of school and at this point, can't and won't ever hit that odious milestone to experience it.

And that's it. My experience in RAP and how I both dealt and did not deal with it. There are a couple of things that you really should not have done that I did, particularly in 2012, but I can say I learned from it.

In 2013, when my loan went into repayment again after college, I did probably the smartest thing I'd ever done money-wise. Even though I didn't need to make payments to my loans, I behaved as if I did. I made what was supposed to be my minimum payments every month in that six month time and it prepared me for when I actually did have to make payments in 2014. It allowed me to adjust my spending accordingly and developed a habit of paying down that loan when I can.

Which really was a big and important step in my loan repayment journey.

Do you also owe the government a brand new car?

Most financial institutions say that university graduates on average carry a student loan debt of around $25,000 in Canada, a number that is only increasing as the price of a degree and inflation grows.

But I'm not carrying an average student loan. I'm one of those lucky people who graduated with an above average student loan debt. (Unfortunately I could not say the same for my CGPA)

How much? Try around $42,000 when I finally went into debt repayment following the grace period. (for the second time, but that's another story)

Yeah, I don't just owe the Canadian and Ontario government a standard car, I owed them a luxury vehicle... or at the very least a sports brand. 

So what does a $42,000 student debt loan mean? Well, on a standard repayment plan, you have to pay close to $480 dollars a month in order to pay it off with interest in 10 years!!! So for 10 years, give or take a month or two, you're paying the government $480 of your monthly earnings. Your starting interest costs (at 5.5%) is also $178 dollars a month and accrued daily, meaning it added around $6 dollars a day to my "money owed" total.

How much is $480 a month to me? $480 is more than I currently pay in rent. $480 is close to 25% of my regular income from my full-time job. $480 is A LOT of money.

Is there a way out of dealing with the full burden? Well if you're income is low enough, you can qualify for debt repayment assistance, a program set up by the Canadian government to help students who go into repayment but don't earn the salary in which to pay back their debt. (Though mostly, they just pay your interest (or partially pay your interest) so that your debt does not continue to spiral. They don't pay your debt for you... most of the time)

I was in assistance for the first six months I went into repayment due to only earning a pittance at a paid internship at the time and therefore had my interest forgiven by the government during that time.

But now I am not in student loan assistance. I eventually managed to turn my internship into a full-time job, but with the full-time status came a glorious pay raise... but a raise that conveniently just bumped me into a salary bracket that meant I was no longer considered "low income", regardless of the fact that around 25% of my salary going to my student loans generally means I'm not really making a whole lot of money either way.

(I'm really just gripping here... mostly because my situation could be much much much much much worse than it is now and I'm well aware of that having both witnessed and for a time lived it)

So... I live a life with an enormous student debt and with more or less only an entry level job to support it. Not the easiest thing for anyone to deal, and yet a lot of people not only live under these same circumstances, they live under it with much less earned or with more things to worry about, like children or maybe even a car payment.

I'm not writing this as a precursor to sharing a 'how I plan to repay what's left of my student loan in one year or less' story, although if I managed that it would be awesome  but would probably require a lottery jackpot win in there somewhere. My story is about being mindful about my money. Setting realistic goals and then doing what I can to exceed them. And along the way hopefully paying down that enormous student debt before the next decade rolls around.

Am I not setting high enough goals for myself? Some would say yes. But those people aren't me and I happen to know that I generally don't make an effort on things I decide are impossible (even when it's not really) or if I stop caring about it (a real danger as I lose interest in things and get restless ALL THE TIME. Prime example is this blog *pokes*).

The point of this is for me to keep on caring, keep on working and above all else stay aware. 

It's more than I can say I managed to do in my previous years. Which is a start.

A new perspective leads to a new outlook on life, living and... living

This story really begins only a few months ago.

My old 3 year old Blackberry Curve finally kicked the bucket, so I decided to switch to a Samsung Galaxy phone. An S4 to be precise, for no other reason than its a Korean smart phone brand.

A dumb reason I know, but I gots to support my peeps!

Many would call "Korean pride' a highly misplaced reason to make consumer choices though.

The move not only meant I lost the ability to type and walk without even looking at the keyboard (a trick I still lament to this day) but made up for it by opening up the opportunity for me to get some fabulous apps, apps that otherwise would have made my antiquated Blackberry smoke at the corners trying to operate it.

And one of those apps happened to be a money manager app.

So here's the confession: I have a bit of sordid history with money and money management, in that I hated money and did as much as I could to ignore it. And I don't mean hated money a little. I mean a lot. We didn't get along very much money and I.

Oh, I made sure I always had some kind of money in the bank so I never (or rather, rarely ever) hit overdraft but that was about it. From the age of 18 until I turned 26 I had three major financial crises because I spent a lot of time ignoring my finances, my circumstances and my earnings and ended up not having the money to pay off what was then important: my university tuition.

All three times I ended up getting out of it, but not out of my own power but due to having a wonderfully generous then-boyfriend who bailed me out to the tune of at least one thousand dollars, which back then felt like an unattainable fortune to me.

And yet somehow, while they made me a little more wary, those three crises still didn't completely snap me out of my problem with money. I still hated it, rather ignored it and still spent pretty freely for one reason or another. And racked up an insane amount of student debt.

It's a bit funny now thinking about what triggered my change of heart when it came to my relationship with money and finances given the number of legitimately serious situations I've been in with money leading up to right now.

But I think it's because mentally, physically and most importantly, emotionally I can actually deal with it now.

I was out of control the first half of my twenties. I know this now. I was trying to get a degree in a subject I abhorred and unable to grind it out, I felt like a massive failure and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. As a result I was struck by a real fear that I'd be abandoned to a life of minimum wage service jobs. And in trying to avoid all of these issues, it made me delusional about everything.

I could barely handle my life let alone my money. Although some would say those go hand in hand.

Since then, my life has figured itself out. I eventually did graduate with Honours, and in a subject that while had a low hireability was a field I enjoyed so immensely that it also gave me the opportunity and ability to focus on what I wanted and what I needed to do to achieve my dream.

And now, career-wise, I couldn't be happier. I work full-time in my chosen field doing something that I truly love from the bottom of my heart and that I'm good at. The salary isn't what anyone would call impressive, but in my eyes, it's a small price to pay to be working at a job that makes me happy, excited and pleased to be a part of.

Keeping this feeling is important. Which is partially what led me to decide that I need to be able to make this salary work in my life in order to stay happy. Or rather, make my life work well with my money.

But even that wasn't what actually triggered this change of heart.

What triggered my decision to be more money conscious and have a much more healthy and active relationship with my money was when in July I realized I was paying more money in interest on my credit card than I was on my internet.

Yep. After everything I've been through and everything I've done, a $50 dollar interest charge on my credit card was what finally made me rethink my debt, my wealth and my relationship with money.

Two months later, and after two exhausting weeks of very profitable but time-consuming freelance work on top of my regular job, I dropped the last $700 of the $2,600 balance owed I had on my oldest credit card, a card in which I've carried a balance on since 2006. And am now free of any and all credit card debt.

But I say only credit card debt though because I still owe the government a car; that is to say there's more yet to come as I owe way more than $2,600 dollars in student loan debt.

But hey, no credit card debt is a start. And at least I'm starting somewhere.