Why is it so hard to save all my moneys!?

I remember several years ago, when I was taking a semi-break from full-time university (don't ask, long story) and working two part-time jobs that had at some point during that year combined to have me work full time hours. (and at minimum wage to boot) All in all, I worked enough that by income tax time, I had to declare close to $15,000 in income that year.

"Wow," said my mother at the time who happened to have also been doing her taxes with me. "You made a lot more money than I expected."

(Turned out, I made way more money than I myself expected or realized. And that was something I ended up paying for when I declared for student loans the following year when I went back to being a full-time student.)

Having lots of money ended up being a double-edged sword that year.

So yeah, $15,000 was a lot of money for me back then, and as it turned out, a lot of money spent as well.

But that's just the thing. I spent most of my life with far far less money earned than that pivotal $15,000 year and was able to live off my pitiful wage with little to no difficulty. 

(Minus the aforementioned problem that that income I earned that year more or less screwed my ability to take out a student loan that actually covered the cost of schooling)

Anyway, the point is, I was able to manage and survive with whatever money I made at the time with not too many problems or feeling any pinch really. So sometimes when I think too much, I wonder why is it that now, when I basically earn twice the income of that "landmark" year now, that I'm having some issues with actually finding and saving my hard-earned cash? Shouldn't I be having an all around easier time with my money?

This pondering and line of questions though is really just a product of my frustration at my money and my past. Because I know that the truth is that all things considered given how I lived back then and how I'm living now, the answer is a big fat no.

Back then I was living at home rent-free with my parents, I didn't pay for cable or internet and half the food I consumed was paid for by someone else and even some of my toiletries was paid for by my parents. As a result, I didn't really have any commitments or responsibilities at all financially. Sure I paid my own cell phone bill and my transportation costs, but it wasn't a huge drain on my expenses either. So at the time, all my money was basically "mine" to spend as I pleased.

But now? I don't live rent-free and pay close to $500 a month to keep a roof over my head. I also now pay for cable, internet and the majority of the food I consume every month along with my cell phone and a metro pass that I've always handled. And then there's my student loans, which eat up another $500 dollars of my regular wage every month.

What does all this add up to? It adds up to the reality that a sizable chunk of the income I make every month is now no longer mine but committed elsewhere. And while I haven't crunched any hard numbers on what money is actually mine to commit to where I want, it's likely less than $10,000.

This is what I feel is happening to my money right now.

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not hurting for money and really I earn enough to live off of. Maybe not 100% comfortably and carefree, but with careful management, is a living wage. And at the end of the day, I am so fortunate to be doing what I do and earning what I earn doing it.

So really, I'm just griping over the fact that I seem to earn so much more money these days, but I don't seem to see any of it to do stuff with, like pay down my student loans or put towards my savings. And it can be a little frustrating at times.

But I'll manage. I just wish the steps I am actually making didn't feel so small or insignificant in the face of what I could be doing if living wasn't so expensive.